In this series of Walking with the Church, we journey with the People of God and the whole world as we mourn the death of Pope Francis.
On March 13, 2013, I went to Saint Peter’s Square along with thousands of others in Rome. I wanted to experience what it was like to see either white or black smoke coming from the Sistine Chapel chimney. I thought we would see black smoke that evening since the conclave had begun just the day before.
The crowd was gathered toward the back of the Square where we could see the chimney. At first, there was a moment of confusion as indefinably black or white smoke started pouring from the chimney. Then, as we onlookers realized it was white smoke, the confusion turned to a mad rush toward the front of the Square.
What seemed like hours later, we finally caught our first glimpse of the next Pope. Who that was remained a mystery even after they announced his name in Latin. Cell phones were of no help. Either too many people were calling to get that precious “tidbit” of information, or cell phone reception was still jammed due to measures taken during the conclave. Finally, a child in front of us, who had succeeded in getting through, lifted his head and shouted, “It’s Jorge Borgoglio from Argentina.”
Confusion, tense anticipation, profound excitement…then? Complete silence prompted by Pope Francis’ request that we ask the Lord to bless him. It’s one of the most sacred moments I have ever experienced in my life.
It would be years later that I would begin to provide live commentaries for liturgies Pope Francis celebrated or for events on his Apostolic Journeys. Then I eventually began to follow him regularly for Vatican News. Eventually, I met Pope Francis in person during an audience he granted to members of the Dicastery for Communication who had provided a lot of behind-the-scenes support for the Vatican Meeting on the Protection of Minors in February 2019. On that occasion we met him in a room at Casa Santa Marta where a large image of Our Lady Untier of Knots hangs. What struck me most during that moment was his ability to welcome people into his residence and truly make us feel welcome and at home. His graciousness and attitude of appreciation for the efforts each of us had contributed toward that meeting were heartfelt and genuine.
Other opportunities to meet the Pope came, always in groups representing the Dicastery for Communication or Talitha Kum. Held in the Apostolic Palace, these audiences were generally more formal, following a defined structure, ending with a procession of handshakes and brief individual moments with him. And it was always a delight to shake his hand when he greeted those of us who read the different language summaries of the General Audience catecheses on Wednesdays. He always seemed jovial, ready to joke with us, creating a very relaxed atmosphere.
The last opportunity I had of seeing the Pope is, and will remain, the most precious of all. On Friday, February 7, 2025, I went with a group of members of Talitha Kum, Talitha Kum Youth Ambassadors, and representatives of other groups who had organized the 11th International Day of Prayer and Awareness Against Human Trafficking.
That day Pope Francis held his audiences at Casa Santa Marta, since he was unable to shake off the bronchitis that was afflicting him. At first we had been instructed to position ourselves out in the foyer of Casa Santa Marta where an armchair and customary microphone had been set up. Then, at the last minute, we were ushered into the same room where I had seen him the first time – the room dominated by the image of Our Lady Untier of Knots.
Other than a hoarse voice, and trouble breathing, you could not tell that the Pope was sick. After rising to greet Sr Abby Avelino, the International Coordinator of Talitha Kum, Pope Francis sat down at a desk. He was quickly surrounded. The intimacy created by this very informal setting was one I had never witnessed before, but I am sure others had, especially on the occasions when he met with individual people or small groups at Apostolic Nunciatures during his Apostolic Journeys. I stood in the back, drinking it all in as one person after another offered the Pope a gift. Some of the people were introduced as survivors. One of them addressed the Pope in Spanish, begging him to carry on, telling him how much his voice meant to them, how they needed to hear him in order to carry on with their own advocacy efforts on behalf of those who experience injustice in the world.
Even the way he read his prepared remarks was very different, since his audience was just a few feet away. No microphone was needed that day; he was speaking to our hearts. He was “unmuted,” you could say, as we could see his facial expressions accompanying his words, which were met with spontaneous murmurs of agreement.
After his remarks, we were allowed to stay a bit with him. There was no rush to end this precious moment uniting these sheep and their shepherd. This is the memory that will remain forever in my heart.
Image credit: Image by Günther Simmermacher from Pixabay